The Gender Question

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So where do you fit?
My sex is male, and my gender is dominantly male	4 (36.4%)
My sex is male, and my gender is slightly more male than female	1 (9.1%)
My sex is male, and my gender is dominantly female	0 (0%)
My sex is male, and my gender is slightly more female than male	0 (0%)
My sex is male, but I feel my gender is equally male and female	3 (27.3%)
My sex is female, and my gender is dominantly female	1 (9.1%)
My sex is female, and my gender is slightly more female than male	0 (0%)
My sex is female, and my gender is dominantly male	0 (0%)
My sex is female, and my gender is slightly more male than female	1 (9.1%)
My sex is female, but I feel my gender is equally male and female	1 (9.1%)
Total Votes: 11

The Gender Question
Topic Started: Aug 21 2009, 09:58 PM (283 Views)
PlayxDohxMentality	Aug 21 2009, 09:58 PM Post #1
NIN Fangirl Extrodinare Posts: 1,081 Group: Co-Administrator Member #449 Joined: May 18, 2006 Gender Female Mood Excited Browser Firefox Blog Please insert the title of your blog	So, we had a discussion in my social psychology class that I took last semester about what attracts people to partners, and this discussion sparked this need to ask people this question. First, I will explain the difference between sex and gender. In social sciences, sex is defined as what you are physically (you know, that good stuff between the legs, right). Gender is what your social traits are. Females generally tend to have the gender traits of being nurturing towards children, being more emotional, and can even be perceived as more "fragile" than their male counterparts. Males, however, tend to have the gender traits of being less expressive emotionally, being more "durable" than their female counterparts, and being more skilled at logic-based tasks. So, in my previously mentioned psychology class, we were discussing traits that attract us to our partners. Through this discussion I slowly began to realize that my professor and myself were the only two females in the room that felt like we should be the ones in our relationships that earn the larger pay checks. All of my other female classmates were saying how they wanted a man that "would provide" for them financially. Even the ones who wanted degrees and jobs said they would prefer a man who had a higher salary than them. I, on the other hand, want to be the one with the larger salary. I've actually had this discussion with my boyfriend, and he said that if we make it to the marriage and children stage together, he'd be happy to stay home and take care of the kids, as I do not want to put off my career to raise the kids. These specific traits I'm carrying, at least here in the states, tend to be considered to be male gender traits. I also notice that I am the more aggressive personality in my relationship - not aggressive as in I kick his butt for fun, but aggressive as in I like to pay for dates, and I tend to make most of the plans for said dates, as well as I am the one farther along in the path of gaining a career and providing for us eventually. So I just wanted to know where everyone felt they stood on this. Perhaps it's the future shrink in me, but I find this stuff to be really interesting.



zzzzzzzuhlast	Aug 21 2009, 10:25 PM Post #2
Mercora's Purple Monkey Posts: 686 Group: Investor Member #843 Joined: August 5, 2009 Gender Private	So I guess after reading that, I would have to ask If it were possible for him to bear the children, would that work for both of you?
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StEC	Aug 22 2009, 12:26 AM Post #3
Gender Hudini Admin Posts: 16,574 Group: Administrator Member #1 Joined: August 19, 2004 Gender Male Mood Sick Browser Firefox Blog StEC's Blog!	Very cool topic, I would love to be in your class to participate & listen in on this discussion! I voted My sex is male, but I feel my gender is equally male and female. I have in the past carried the predominately male traits in relationships but I been thinking lately or actually for a little while I would like the tables turned a bit I would love to have someone else be the bread winner in the relationship and the go to guy while I can take a more laid back do more stuff at home kind of life and focus on getting my kids back and taking care of them! I think I would fall dead in the middle between male & female gender traits. And LOL @ Zzzz
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aphrodite	Aug 22 2009, 04:35 AM Post #4
Silver Member Posts: 1,857 Group: Co-Administrator Member #452 Joined: June 3, 2006 Gender Female Mood Happy Blog Please insert the title of your blog	You know that population/immigration question, well if men could have babies ............. lol Zzzzz My gender is female through and through and I am very feminine and very maternal towards my kids but there is a question missing in this poll in that there are those who are exceptionally female in that they are incapable and timid and I am definitelty not one of those. There are also those who are exceptionally male, want to hump and fight everything in sight lol. I love to have a man who looks after me doing all the nice things like opening doors, giving up his seat for me, watching out for dangers for me, etc it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy and cared for. I also like to dress in a feminine way and to feel attractive and to know that I look good to the point where I always make the most of myself, I bath or shower twice a day and the only time I don't have make up on (I only wear a little bit anyway during the day) is in bed I am not however incapable in that I use my brain and I will challenge a male if a don't agree with him also if there is no male about, then I will do what would be typically a male role, such as tiling a floor or putting a shelf up but only if I have to, I wouldn't say that this means that there is a male trait in me, it is just necessity and I will get on with what needs to be done. As for income I don't worry about who earns most, it is largely an accident of fate, circumstance and opportunity anyway. Too much emphasis is put on money in a relationship and it really isn't important, as long as between you you have enough and neither person is mean with it. What is important is compatibility, understanding one another and one anothers traits whatever they are, and loving each other for who they are without wanting to change one single thing about them. Edited by aphrodite, Aug 22 2009, 04:38 AM.



PlayxDohxMentality	Aug 22 2009, 08:43 AM Post #5
NIN Fangirl Extrodinare Posts: 1,081 Group: Co-Administrator Member #449 Joined: May 18, 2006 Gender Female Mood Excited Browser Firefox Blog Please insert the title of your blog	Aph, the idea of those things being male traits I guess is something that society has designated. I often feel left out in my psych classes when we discuss these things, just because I have a good 70 percent of the traits that they tend to list as "male", and I'd say I only have around 50 on average of those they list as "female". It's good that you aren't afraid to step up where you need to, though, as typically speaking many women who fall on the feminine end won't do that, they'll just wait for someone else to. You're right, there is too much emphasis on income. For me, in my wanting to be the one who earns more, I want the responsibility. I place a lot of value in the education I am getting, and I place a ton of value in the concept of using it to gain a career I am dreaming of, and part of that career is going to be the nice pay checks rolling in. It creates a sense of independence for me, and I really am looking forward to that. My friends always comment that I'm the dude in the relationship anyway lol. But my boy and I are happy with the way things are set up. He's more sensitive to my emotions and things like that than most guys are, and I love having a guy who has those feminine traits. He's even amazing with children. I love it. lol Zzz, actually if he could have the kids, I think I'd call it the perfect world. :P



aphrodite	Aug 22 2009, 10:39 AM Post #6
Silver Member Posts: 1,857 Group: Co-Administrator Member #452 Joined: June 3, 2006 Gender Female Mood Happy Blog Please insert the title of your blog	It's great that you and your guy are happy with the way you work your relationship Playdoh, it is at the end of the day finding someone who is right for you and that you fit with and you with them. It's also geat that you want a career and loads of money to go with it and your independence, a lot of guys find this very sexy. I can, and have been, very independent when I have been single and I am not afraid of being on my own, I do have a huge independent streak but I just prefer to feel looked after, having said that I wouldn't want to be 'kept' and enjoy the fact that I contribute financially to us as a couple. I guess I am just lucky that I have in my life a very manly man, definitely male who wants to care for me and make me happy who is concious of my emotions and doesn't stop me having my independence within the bounds of fidelity and who can also find his inner child with kids and play with them on their level which is great and he is a load of fun to be around. As for me standing up for myself it helps that, as long as I am right, he will back me 100% and is totally there for me supporting me. We make a good team together. I steady him when he gets angry sometimes and he pushes me when I need to be pushed into something I might otherwise be mousish about lol



dfxshadow	Aug 23 2009, 04:06 AM Post #7
Silver Member Posts: 1,861 Group: Retired Staff Member #54 Joined: September 19, 2004	I really wasn't sure how to answer this at first. I mean for most of my life. I've been male, with a lot of female traits. However, in the last couple years I feel that I've changed a lot. In fact my best friends and I had a pretty in depth conversation on how we've all changed. Pretty much all of my friends agree that I've changed a lot over the last couple years. I just thought I was jaded and perhaps I was. But without a doubt I've started behaving much more like a typical "male". I found myself caring less about how I feel, and more focused on my life goals.
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Groovboi33	Aug 28 2009, 08:54 AM Post #8
Newbie Posts: 15 Group: Investor Member #846 Joined: August 8, 2009 Gender Male Mood Shy Browser IE	Sorry i am a bit late getting in on this. Just starting to "work" my way around all these threads. I had never really given thought to my gender role in a relationship. I have always been the dominant personality in a relationship, but at the same time i can be very femenine in many ways. I would say i fall diectly in the middle. Thank you for this very interesting and thought provokoing poll!



ProKlowner	Aug 29 2009, 09:02 AM Post #9
Professor Klowner Posts: 2,851 Group: Investor Member #791 Joined: February 28, 2008 Gender Male Mood Inspired Browser Firefox Blog Revision A's Nightshades	I decline to answer this one, I'm just a man don't know nothing about any gender, from the very day a boy is born you become more and more like a man, and ever day you live up to being a man, and if you don't your a woman.. That is what I was taught, I get tougher and more masculine every day, an realized lately that I've became more of a man in that I've became a genuine asshole like my father was.. besides all that psycho babel is based on science and science it's self is based on the possibility of a doubt.. For males science has nothing to do with it, some of us had fathers an some of us did not, an some who did have a father that father wasn't always there, an back in the day the 1900s we were taught self reliance. But today people don't know what that is.. I could say though that my mother also was masculine she's 68 years old now but back when she grew up was a time when women had to be more tough, and she was very man like when I was growing up, some times she talked like a man and she was tough.. She still is an hasn't changed much over the years..



ProKlowner	Aug 30 2009, 11:36 PM Post #10
Professor Klowner Posts: 2,851 Group: Investor Member #791 Joined: February 28, 2008 Gender Male Mood Inspired Browser Firefox Blog Revision A's Nightshades	Well I thought it over an realized that I probably have some feminine traits myself, I don't like to admit to it though like I let the woman do things to me like control me an stuff, and I grew up with most my closer friends who we're girls, tom boys an the like. That one kissed me once an freaked me out but he was really a girl. Anyway there are just a lot of things that I know about, for one.that guys or men are mostly just pigs, all my male friends in real life if I go somewhere with them an we pass by a woman, they be like quacking an staring at her an talking about how they would do her, but not me I be thinking fuck her I got other things to do.. Your typical woman isn't my type anyway, I like them with a brain.. Female Psychologist turn me on.. Ops.. Edited by ProKlowner, Aug 30 2009, 11:38 PM.



StEC	Aug 31 2009, 10:32 AM Post #11
Gender Hudini Admin Posts: 16,574 Group: Administrator Member #1 Joined: August 19, 2004 Gender Male Mood Sick Browser Firefox Blog StEC's Blog!	Groovboi33 Aug 28 2009, 08:54 AM Sorry i am a bit late getting in on this. Just starting to "work" my way around all these threads. I had never really given thought to my gender role in a relationship. I have always been the dominant personality in a relationship, but at the same time i can be very femenine in many ways. I would say i fall directly in the middle. Thank you for this very interesting and thought provokoing poll! Glad your finding your way around and getting more comfortable! And you fall in the same spot I do though I would not say I look feminine or act fem when I doing some traits often associated with females I somehow still make it look masculine lmao I dunno I'm just being myself I can get away with doing some "female" things and still slip under peoples radar or gaydar!
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musicfanatic2071	Aug 31 2009, 01:54 PM Post #12
Silver Member Posts: 1,717 Group: Member Member #169 Joined: March 4, 2005	This poll is so interesting. I am clearly a man and have many manly attributes. I like meat, females turn me on, and I laugh at stuff only guys would laugh at. But then there's the feminine side in me. I cry at sad parts in movies, I enjoy certain music that would be questionable to my sexuality, I like to match my clothing, I like to smell good, my hair needs to be perfect. So honestly I think I am even on the man/woman attributes but there are times when I am more manly and more feminine.



PlayxDohxMentality	Aug 31 2009, 04:57 PM Post #13
NIN Fangirl Extrodinare Posts: 1,081 Group: Co-Administrator Member #449 Joined: May 18, 2006 Gender Female Mood Excited Browser Firefox Blog Please insert the title of your blog	StEC Aug 31 2009, 10:32 AM And you fall in the same spot I do though I would not say I look feminine or act fem when I doing some traits often associated with females I somehow still make it look masculine lmao I dunno I'm just being myself I can get away with doing some "female" things and still slip under peoples radar or gaydar! Haha Stec you are a real Gender Hudini. I like when people bend the rules, it breaks away from the traditional ideals and shakes society up, something I think society could stand to see. I like seeing everyone's responses on here, a lot of you say you fall towards the middle, which is good. Societal evolution - letting the sexes adapt qualities from the opposite gender without being ridiculed for it, that's the kind of thing that makes me a happy little psych nut lol.



StEC	Aug 31 2009, 05:18 PM Post #14
Gender Hudini Admin Posts: 16,574 Group: Administrator Member #1 Joined: August 19, 2004 Gender Male Mood Sick Browser Firefox Blog StEC's Blog!	L10 hahaha omg "Gender Hudini" that's gonna be my new title on here for a while and I love the societal evolution comment agreed!
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PlayxDohxMentality	Aug 31 2009, 09:11 PM Post #15
NIN Fangirl Extrodinare Posts: 1,081 Group: Co-Administrator Member #449 Joined: May 18, 2006 Gender Female Mood Excited Browser Firefox Blog Please insert the title of your blog	LMAO hahaa omg you are too cute Stec!



zzzzzzzuhlast	Sep 1 2009, 01:49 AM Post #16
Mercora's Purple Monkey Posts: 686 Group: Investor Member #843 Joined: August 5, 2009 Gender Private	StEC Aug 31 2009, 05:18 PM L10 hahaha omg "Gender Hudini" that's gonna be my new title on here for a while and I love the societal evolution comment agreed! and you really did change your title! lol
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StEC	Sep 1 2009, 10:18 AM Post #17
Gender Hudini Admin Posts: 16,574 Group: Administrator Member #1 Joined: August 19, 2004 Gender Male Mood Sick Browser Firefox Blog StEC's Blog!	HAHAHA yeah I think that's the best thing I heard all month!
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